


I Like Me Better   (When I'm With You)

by infinite_always



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-08 03:12:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14095899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinite_always/pseuds/infinite_always
Summary: They’ve been here before, through the light and the dark. With this night, this place and Makoto at his side, Haru hopes tonight will be able to leave a mark of its own.(Or wishful thinking on how I want a third parallel scene to play out between Haru and Makoto overlooking the Iwatobi coast together for Season 3.)





	I Like Me Better   (When I'm With You)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DatHeetJoella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DatHeetJoella/gifts), [starshi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starshi/gifts).



> How does one even write a captivating synopsis? Please tell me. 
> 
> This is just pure fluffy, head-canon stuff. To me, Haru loves pouring out his heart to Makoto when they’re alone. Makoto might be a good Haru-reader, but I still want Haru to express himself with his own words. Sometimes he has to let out his flood of thoughts, too. I can’t help but feel that Haru can be a man of many sickeningly sweet words when he wants to be. It’s a side he only shows to Makoto. (Sappy, in-love Haru is my weakness.) (Sappy, in-love Makoto is also my weakness). (Them being sappy together is my greatest weakness.) 
> 
> I wanted to gift this to the talented and sweet DatHeetJoella and starshi. 
> 
> Joella, you are always putting so much time and effort into writing those beautiful Makoharu one-shots (with word counts that are still beyond my comprehension and content way above my capabilities) filled with all those wonderful head-canons you have, and I appreciate it. Your imagination is like an overflowing waterfall, a constant flow of never-ending ideas and I am in awe of that. I just wanted to give you something you in return as thanks. I say it all the time, but I can’t help it. Just thanks for everything you do. :D <3
> 
> This whole thing was also inspired by [this](http://starshi.tumblr.com/post/158714204885/%E1%95%99-%E1%95%97-i-did-a-thing-and-i-even-finished-it) gorgeous art made by starshi, so this is for you too. It made my heart all aflutter and I wanted to write based off of it. I am always in awe of your skill and how much detail you put into all the pieces you make. Your gift at drawing is amazing. I can't help but squeal at all of your Free! fanart. You treat the characters with such care and I love that. Thanks for always sharing with us. :D <3 
> 
> I couldn’t help but be inspired and try some creative writing again with my own head-canons (it’s like an annual occurrence for me, ha ha), drawing inspiration from your guys' art. Any kind of art takes time to be created; it's hard work. But you guys continue to astonish me with the time and effort you put in 'til the end. Both of you are such beautiful human beings. Thanks for existing and still giving content to the Free! fandom for everyone to enjoy. You guys make it so much brighter and enchanting. You deserve everything. 
> 
> [This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXwc1B9fWmA) version of ‘I Like Me Better’ by Lauv was on repeat while writing this. I am addicted.

* * *

 

There was a pleasant breeze coming off the coast, carrying an air of salt, ruffling Haru’s hair as he gazes at the horizon. Darkness meets bottomless depths as the stars have their turn to play in the sky. Haru rests his forearms along the cold metal rail, a soft sigh escaping him as he takes in what the night has to offer.

This sight … it will always hold a significant place in Haru’s life.

It’s a place of hands clutching at hearts and warm tentative looks. He remembers the lights from the town had been ablaze, glowing proudly and strong, as if they were ignited by the fire that Haru had lit inside himself. _It made me just as happy._ It was here that he started to acknowledge those that have been supporting him this entire time, patiently waiting for him to come back to them from his self-induced isolation. How _he_ never left his side. It was here that he started to be put back together.

But it is also a place of piercing words falling on stunned ears and the loss of a touch he had been accustomed to accepting. The first time _he_ let Haru go. He remembers the fireworks being drowned out, failing to light up the cold town beneath them. Failing to bring color to Haru’s world when it was only going dark. _I’m going to a university in Tokyo._ It was here that he fell apart.

Haru always tries his hardest to push this memory away, to leave it in the past where it belongs. Tiredly, he closes his eyes and hides his face in his palms. He knows that he and Makoto have made up, but he can’t help but feel like it will always be one of his greatest regrets. He will never forget the look of pure hurt in Makoto’s eyes or the collapsing of his own chest knowing that he was the cause of it when he ran away and never came back. He ran away to Australia, all because he wanted to avoid seeing Makoto the next morning. That’s how much of a coward he was.

It’s his first time to return here since that night. The climb up those steps was like his own personal Mount Fuji, knowing that his ghosts would haunt him even more when he finally made it to the top. But he needed to come back. He needed to face his mistake head on and collect the pieces that he had left behind. _I don’t ever want to hurt him again,_ he vows, his resolution firm.  _Never again. I only want to make him happy._

Haru resumes his former position and crosses his forearms upon the rail to continue his watch of the sky and the sea, his chin gently propped upon the cushion of his arms. The moon is at its fullest tonight, beaming its blinding smile, reflecting crystal fractures off the calm surface of the water. The faint sound of the crashing waves is a calming melody, easing some of his tension away. The moon is irresistible; the water not being able to refuse its gravitational pull – as if it is too entranced by the moon’s ethereal allure. It truly is magical. Haru can only think of one person whose smile can rival the radiance of the moon.

 “Haru-chan?”

 As always, Haru’s heart picks up speed in his chest when that voice as rich and saccharine as honey says his name. He looks to his right to see Makoto at the top of the stairs, a gentle smile upon his face and adoration in his eyes. _There’s your competition._  

“I’m so sorry, have you been here for long?” Makoto questions, making his way to Haru’s side. “Ran and Ren were begging to come along, but I know that they shouldn’t be out at night, so they just wanted me to tell you they say ‘hi’.”

“It’s okay.” Haru stands up straighter, gripping the rail as he turns to face Makoto. He was actually glad to be alone for a bit, to have some room to take it all in before Makoto arrived. “Tell them I said ‘hi’ back.” Reflexively he says: “And stop with the ‘-chan’.”

Makoto grins, eyes squinting, a faint giggle falling from his lips. When he opens his eyes again, he focuses on Haru with _that look_. _That look_ being one that Haru knows is reserved only for him. With Makoto, this is a look accompanied by soft curves; the slight upturn of the corners of his mouth, the slight downturn of his puppy-dog eyes, the slight tilt of his head. Haru can’t help but smile gently in return.

Makoto then averts his gaze to the ocean, looking deep in thought. “Thanks for meeting me here, Haru.” He mirrors Haru’s current stance along the rail, although his large, tan hands look stronger wrapped along the top of the barrier. It’s a stark contrast to Haru’s small, pale ones that delicately grace the surface. A world full of opposites – darkness versus light, broad versus slight, alone versus together.

“I always love coming back here. It’s just so… Iwatobi _,_ you know? I feel like I gotta spend as much time around the coast as I can. I’m going to miss it when I leave for Tokyo.” Makoto admits, breathing in the air, the surroundings. “This is where we grew up, it’s our home. It brings back so many memories. Well, maybe not all of them are the best…”

Suddenly, he trails off, eyes a little downcast. To anyone else it would have gone unnoticed, but Haru can hear the tinge of sadness in Makoto’s tone. _He’s thinking about it._ Haru’s heart takes a tiny flip, a small pebble of guilt in his stomach. _Never again._ “Some of it was hard, for the both of us. But all of those memories have been made with you, so I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Makoto has yet to face Haru, but he can’t help but look at Makoto’s profile. Haru can just imagine Makoto, here in this exact same spot on that night, a frown marring his angelic features instead of his usual smile. All alone with no one but the moon and stars to accompany him. _Never again._ “But, I’m glad you’re here with me tonight, Haru.” Makoto finally turns to look at Haru, his inner glow starting to come back. “Thank you.”

Haru feels so undeserving of all the smiles that Makoto sends his way, always seeming to be using up his supply for moments like these. He’s taken back to the old swim club, a smaller Makoto with his hand outstretched, an even smaller dolphin in his palm. Always giving Haru exactly what he desires, always putting Haru first. He's taken back to that same swim club, but they've grown now, Makoto now surpassing Haru in height. But even then, during their secret night swim, Makoto's hands were reaching for him, pulling him back up. Always supporting him and lifting him up. Haru wants to change that. He wants to make sure to be worthy of the affection Makoto gives him. He needs to show him how much he appreciates him. Makoto deserves the world and Haru will do everything he can to give it to him. _Always._ “Hey Makoto, there’s actually something I need to talk to you about.” 

At this, concern etches its way onto Makoto’s features. Haru is quick to place a reassuring hand on Makoto’s forearm. He’s not usually one for physical contact in any circumstance, but Makoto is an exception. His only exception. “No, don’t worry, it’s nothing bad.”

Makoto relaxes a bit, unconsciously shifting to grasp the hand Haru has on his arm, encircling his small wrist instead, letting it hang in between them. There is no desperation in this action, unlike before where Makoto tried his hardest to make Haru stay. There’s no need for that now. No otherworldly force could ever make Haru leave. “Alright, don’t scare me like that. What is it then?”  

Haru has been keeping this to himself for a while now, always waiting for the right moment to tell Makoto. He glances down at the wrist that Makoto is holding between them. He would have pulled away by now, but he doesn’t want to do this to himself anymore – to them. He is so tired of keeping everything in and running away. “Remember that time when we were stranded on that island for the night and we were playing that dice talk game and Nagisa asked me what my greatest fear was?”

Makoto nods, laughing slightly at the memory. “You said that you were afraid of all the water disappearing from the world. I wouldn’t expect anything else, ha ha.”

There’s no judgment in his eyes, ‘cause that’s just how Makoto is. Always accepting Haru for all he is, all of his quirks and flaws regardless. _Always._

“Well, I lied.” Haru is feeling bolder now, letting his internal momentum drive him forward. “I’m not afraid of water disappearing from the world.” Turning his wrist slowly, Haru entwines his hand with Makoto’s, his fingers filling the spaces in between perfectly. Looking like they belong, finally coming home. He hears Makoto gasp quietly, but doesn’t move to pull away. If anything, he squeezes Haru’s hand tighter.

Haru chances a glance to look up, meeting Makoto’s gaze, the moon illuminating him even more. Sapphire meets emerald, the bond between them even more precious than the gems themselves. Makoto looks at him as he always does, because he understands. But Haru can’t help but voice it aloud. “I’m afraid of _you_ disappearing from _my_ world.”

It was inevitable, really. Anyone around them could see that where Haru goes, Makoto goes. And it shouldn’t be a surprise that it goes the other way around. They were an inseparable pair – one soul, two bodies. It wasn’t a sudden apparition, this eternal love that Haru has for his best friend; an artificial rose already in full bloom. It was natural through and through. It started out as a small bud, from the moment he held out his hand to the fallen angel on the playground and helped him get back on his feet. It started growing as the years went by, planting roots and sprouting leaves in the meadow of his chest, right beneath the butterflies that fluttered around whenever Makoto was nearby. Its petals slowly began opening, one by one, with every look, every touch, and every smile that seemed miniscule at the time, but was worth everything in the eyes of the universe. It is _them,_ it is real, and this was something that they nurtured together. Haru can fully see the rose now, full of life, the color of his heart painting the petals. He’s ready to give it all the love and sunshine it deserves, never willing to let it die.

“Haru…” Makoto uses his free hand to cradle the side of his face, Haru instantly leaning into the touch.  

“When you were just lying there and I couldn’t wake you up…” Haru continues on, a slight tremor in his voice. “I didn’t know how much you actually meant to me until I thought you were gone. And then when you told me that you were leaving, I couldn’t help but feel like you were leaving _me_.” He’s opening old wounds, but he wants Makoto to know everything he’s been bottling up inside.

“Haru, I’m so sorry for making you feel that way.” Makoto’s thumb is rubbing small, soothing circles upon Haru’s cheekbone, as he takes a step closer, making Haru’s breath hitch. “But you should know I could never leave you. Even when we’re apart, you have a part of me. That will never change. I’m going to miss you so much.”

“But that’s the thing,” Haru insists, taking another step forward, making the distance even smaller. “I don’t want to think about having to miss you. The thought of you being miles away and I’m not within walking distance, it would hurt me all over again.”

To others, he might sound dependent; needy in every sense of the definition. But they would be wrong. Because between the two of them, they both know exactly what they are for each other. Without the moon, the water would just be stuck with no way to move – with no purpose or motivation. Without the water, the moon would have nothing to remind it just how bright and beautiful it is, always reflecting back its worth. They need each other, the push and pull, in order to work in perfect harmony.

“Makoto,” Haru says, staring into eyes that remind him of spring days, of new beginnings. Eyes that he has come to love so much. “I’ve decided to join a team in Tokyo.”

The air around them stills, as the words seem to travel to space before reaching Makoto. Haru doesn’t know what to expect, but suddenly strong arms are wrapping around his waist and his feet leave the ground as he is spun a single joyous, twirl. Haru instantly wrapped his arms around Makoto’s neck in order to steady himself when he was lifted up and finds that he doesn’t want to let go when he’s set back down.

Still in the circle of Makoto’s arms, one of Makoto’s hands travels up the curve of his spine to hold his face once more. “What about Australia? Didn’t you make some connections while you were there with Rin? Or any other place, Haru? You must have so many offers, so many opportunities. People from all over the world would want to recruit you, I just know it. Are you sure about this?”

Now that Haru knows what it’s like to have Makoto hold him close, so much more intense that the brief clasping of hands that they are used to doing, he can’t have enough. He takes one of his hands that were cupping Makoto’s neck and places it on top of the one Makoto has on his cheek. “It doesn’t matter where I swim. Swimming is swimming, no matter which team I would be doing it for.” He grips Makoto’s hand gently, but with a bit more pressure, trying to use touch to further send his message. “I only swim free, remember? But I’m always free when I’m with you.”

There’s a slight sheen to Makoto’s eyes as he accepts all that Haru is giving him. The hand that was holding Makoto’s reaches out to cup Makoto’s face now, handling him with the delicacy one would handle a sleeping kitten. “What’s wrong?”

Makoto gives a short bark of laughter, half exasperated, half elated. He gives his head a gentle shake as an even grander smile takes shape. “I just can’t believe that you’re real, you know?”

Haru melts at that, feeling as if there’s a hot air balloon inside of him. There’s a warmth taking place, expanding and expanding, making him feel light – as if he could just float. “I was just going to say the same thing about you.”

He’s holding Makoto’s face with both hands now, making him solely focus on his face, his words, his confession. “You make me better. You’re my _home_. It doesn’t matter where I am or where I’m going to go. As long as you’re there with me, I’m going to be okay.” He brings Makoto’s face even closer, rising up on his toes. “I don’t want to be apart from you. I love you, Makoto.”

The first touch of Makoto’s lips on his is the embodiment of everything Makoto is.

It’s gentle, in the way that Makoto handles everything with such care. In the way they start to move their lips slowly together, with hesitant clutches, getting used to this new experience.

It’s warm, in the way that Makoto makes him feel safe and comforted whenever they are together. In the way that Makoto pulls Haru even closer, until they are pressed heart to heart, with Makoto’s strong hands holding Haru’s waist and Haru’s arms are wrapped around Makoto’s neck in a soft, yet unrelenting embrace. They were never good with any distance between them anyway.

It’s sweet, in the way that Makoto is practically made of sugar and gives his kindness to everyone he meets. In the way that Haru can feel Makoto smiling against his lips in between kisses; how he’s smiling back just the same. Haru is not one for sweets, but he would gladly have Makoto in a heartbeat.

It’s loving, because it’s them, Makoto and Haruka, and there’s no other way to describe it.

When they finally pull apart, they rest their foreheads together with their eyes shut, trying to extend the moment for as long as possible. Makoto then leans back a bit, nuzzling Haru’s nose with his own to get him to do the same. When Haru opens his eyes, he is met with one of the brightest smiles he’s ever seen upon Makoto’s face. _And we have a winner._ “I love you, too, Haru-chan. So much you can’t even imagine.”

Before Haru can reply, or more accurately retort that he _can imagine,_ because he knows he feels the same, Makoto is lifting his head and pressing delicate kisses to anywhere he can reach. To his forehead covered by his soft fringe, the apples of his cheeks, the velvety sides of his neck, the tip of his nose. Anywhere and everywhere. “Sorry,” Makoto stops his kissing mission to look at Haru admiringly. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while and couldn’t help myself.”  

“You dummy,” Haru teases fondly, stretching up on his toes again so that he can leave a small kiss upon Makoto’s nose. When he settles back on his feet, Makoto’s eyes are wide, his mouth agape, a flustered blush coloring his cheeks. “You don’t have to apologize for something like that.”   

“Haru-chaaan…” Makoto whines, hiding his face in the crook of Haru’s neck. “You’re so cute. Have I told you that before? And you’re so lovey-dovey! I didn’t know my Haru was such a softie, all along.” _His Haru_. Nothing has ever sounded more right.

Makoto is teasing him right back, Haru knows, but he can’t help but laugh at his antics, running his hands through his hair. “Only for you, love.” He gives Makoto another sweet peck on his ear and Makoto retaliates with one placed upon the juncture where Haru’s shoulder meets his neck. Haru knew he was competitive with Rin, but with Makoto, this little game is something he will gladly take part in. All is fair in love and kisses.

Makoto hums contentedly, still resting his head on Haru’s shoulder. “I like hearing you call me that.” He murmurs, his breath hitting Haru’s skin and making him shiver. “It makes me feel special.”

 “You like that? Hmm… well, how about another one? Does ‘babe’ work, too?”

Makoto laughs again, Haru feeling his nose scrunch against the side of his neck. He’s always laughing and smiling around Haru and he wouldn’t want him any other way. “And where did you get _that_ from?”

“Well, come on, you are one.” Makoto playfully bites his clothed shoulder (not to hurt of course, he’s Makoto) and kisses it soon after, Haru smirking at the gesture. “I remember hearing it between a couple when I was in Australia. Which is funny because it reminds me of when I was there.  I apparently tried to order a ‘you’ at this café Rin took me to. But he told me it was pronounced ‘ma-key-a-to’.”

“Aww, you missed me that much?” Makoto is affectionate once again, lifting his head to bring their noses together in another small kiss.

Haru nuzzles back. “I always do.”

Makoto leans in to give him another kiss on his lips, fitting together much more easily than the first time, but it still has the same feeling the first one did. Like coming home. _Always._ Haru reciprocates earnestly, still drunk on the feeling. “Don’t worry, I missed you, too.”

They stay like that for a while, neither wanting to pull apart. Makoto’s arms leave comfort in his bones, a secure shelter from the world around them. It’s just the two of them here, where they are even more together than they were before. They sway lightly together, Haru’s feet on top of Makoto’s to make it easier for him to hug his neck closer with less strain, their faces close in proximity while they engage in an impromptu dance. Eons could have gone by and Haru still would never want to leave.

Haru is roused from his trance when he feels a feather-light kiss brush across his cheekbone. They’ve shared so many kisses in this one night compared to the span of time that they’ve known each other. They didn’t know what they have been missing out on and neither of them was complaining. “Hey, Haru?”

“Hmm?”

_That look_ is back, but now that their love has been professed to each other, it makes it even more treasured. “I’m really glad that I met you, Haru. Thank you, Haru-chan.” This scene has been played out before, also with the water at their side, but what was unspoken then is at full volume now. “I don’t know where I would be without you. You make me so happy. I love you so much.” _It’s meaningless without you._

Haru nestles closer, resting their foreheads together again. He is so incredibly lucky; he doesn’t know how fate set him upon this path. It led him here – to his sun, his stars and his moon. His Makoto. He leans in, whispering the words against Makoto’s mouth that have been imprinted into his soul. “Thank _you_ , Makoto. You’re my everything. I love you so much, too.”

This sight … it will always hold a significant place in Haru’s life.

It’s a place of two becoming one, souls finally connecting together and bringing their pieces to form something even stronger. It was here that affection became a constant presence and hidden longing became reality. From the ashes rose a phoenix that will guide them towards their next stage, in which they will carry on together, side by side. Haru knows that when you turn twenty, you become ordinary, but he thinks that if he’s with Makoto, they will be anything but that.  

 

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> They basically just got married here, sorry about that, I couldn’t help it with the mush. 
> 
> Haru’s fear of losing Makoto … I think about that on a daily basis. That’s how much this couple has affected me. So also thanks to albatrossmuffin, for [this](http://albatrossmuffin.tumblr.com/post/164043951539/free-novelize-chapter-6-its-meaningless-without) translation of the novelization. 
> 
> And yeah, I’m using that Funimation Valentine [quote](https://twitter.com/FUNimation/status/963449843929747456) cause they killed me with that. 
> 
> I also can't remember where I read that head-canon where people thought about Haru being in Australia and trying to order a 'macchiato', but ended up saying 'Makoto' instead. I just thought it was cute, ha ha. 
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading this short and sickeningly sweet one-shot if you made it all the way through. I hope you have a lovely day. <3


End file.
